Anal Sex Guide for Beginners
If you and your partner have been wondering about that light at the end of the tunnel but (err, butt, sorry, couldn’t resist it!) have been wary about the glory of the butthole, here is something that is every bit useful, scientific and definitely not what you see in the porn videos!
So, folks, let’s do it!
Question: How does it feel like?
How does having a penis up your ass should feel like? Okay, let me fetch you a closer to home example. How does taking a thick dump out of a dry anus feel like? Unpleasant is not the word you are looking for. Painful is the word.
Question: So, why would even I try it if it is painful to this extent?
Because it is an unexplored territory, which when explored correctly can give you orgasm, much better than the vaginal one. And you cannot just write anything off just like that without even as much as trying it, right?
Let’s get the facts straight. For at least first 10 times, you are going to find it extremely difficult to believe that another person’s penis / tongue / finger are up there. If you have body issues, well, then it is almost difficult for you to ascertain what you don’t like more, your body or the idea of somebody going the fourth base on you like this.
But once you are totally into it, you and your partner are doing it the right way, the orgasm is just round the corner. Though, it will still feel like penis up your ass.
Question: So, what should I do?
Don’t do it just because your partner wants you to do it. Otherwise it will become a problem and end up in a terrible experience that you would never like to address again ever.
Open your mind before you spread your thighs. Yes, that’s the key. You need to learn, understand and think about it if you are going off road for the first time.
Question: Who wants to do it more, me or my guy?
Well, girls love it too. Men find it amazing most of the time because a butthole is tighter than a vagina. Most of the women who loved it, have shared their stories online about the extent and immensity of orgasms.
And yes, don’t do it to save your relationship. That’s big NO. That too in all CAPS. Don’t do it if you can’t gather your thoughts around the idea. Do it when you are ready. Do it when you think that you can handle some pain (okay, a little more than some) to experience the pleasure that awaits you afterwards.
Question: I have heard that once you go anal, you never go vaginal.
Aha! The sweet little world of rumors. Nobody would ditch something as classic as vaginal sex. Anal is just a bonus. Plus, it doesn’t have the natural wetness.
Question: What would he think of me, if I ask him to enter my ass?
Well, we don’t blame you. Anal sex is the number one taboo in the list of sexual behavior as rated by heterosexual couples and we get it, if you asked this question. But yes, you wouldn’t like to try anal sex with someone you have just met, right? He might be your partner from long and know what turns you on. If salad tossing it is, let it be that! It is okay to explore sex and the regions of your body that are yet untouched and waiting to be explode with pleasure! So, if he thinks that you are slutty or have been inappropriate in asking for anal sex, we say, dump his sorry as right now!
Question: My butthole will become a gaping hole if I continue to have it.
That’s the most common misconception and we know where it is coming from. Stop watching porn FFS! And even if you do, stop believing it to the core. While it is true that the muscles of anus will relax and expand a bit but it won’t become a black hole that could sink anything into it that comes its way!
Question: I have heard it is shitty. I mean, literally shitty. Why someone would like anything that has shit involved?
The area, where the penis and finger go in, is the lowest part of the rectum and anus where there is only little “shit”. Even if you are so freaked about the cleanliness and hygiene of the act, you can try going for anal douche and taking a hot shower, particularly there before you plan to engage in the act. However, if you are going to do anal on a regular basis, anal douche is going to be a very humdrum and time consuming act. So, we suggest that you be okay as there is nothing going to be much awkward about it.
Question: Do I have to go all clean and smooth before I try that. I mean, err.
To be honest, your dude should just consider himself more than lucky to be able to get it from you. Though it is another thing if you want him to stare at you in awe with his mouth open, literally too! So, it should be your personal preference, if you want to go for Brazilian wax or not.
Question: When should I do it? Seven months into dating or I should wait for more.
It depends on your equation with him. If you people are very comfortable with each other, know each other’s sexual preference and have connect already, you can initiate whenever you want. Though the thumb rule is to wait and communicate.
Talking is the key. Try to bring it in your conversation. Though, there shouldn’t be much of hullaballoo about it but it is a taboo even in the most advanced of the societies so, you might want to first understand your partner’s view on this.
Many women have admitted that it is better to do with a man that you share a connection with. It might not be just the soul-mate thing, but with whom you have a serious relationship and expect to have something serious and not just a casual fling.
Question: With my current boyfriend it is just amazing! But my last two exes, it was horrible!
Let’s face it. It is sex. You need foreplay. You need stimulus and who can turn you on, it is best with him!
It can be licking, nipple arousal, oral vaginal sex or anything. But you need to be turned on.
So, ladies, guess here are most of the answers you have been looking for. If you still want to know more, don’t shy away and drop in your queries/ questions in the comments. We will try our best to address it!
Question: Courtesy porn, anal sex is so hyped up these days.
Well, this might come as a surprise but it is not. You can give credit to the number of porn sites that we are seeing number of heterosexual couples discussing it and willing to try it at least once but its origin is as old as mankind. There has been unearthing of more than 1000 clay pots dating back to 100AD and 800AD of Northern Peru, Moche culture. Vatsayan’s Kama Sutra, the revered and ancient Indian scripture on human sex also mentions it and quite vividly. He once wrote this:
“Is there anything more stupid than to believe that there is only one part of the body to take in the cock? As if nature, when she gave us two holes, hadn´t ordered us to stuff them in turn.”
Most of ancient texts mention it as a possible method to prevent child birth and as a mean of sadistic pleasure. The reference here is to the French aristocrat and politician, Marquis de Sade.
Questions: Things I should know about shit and butt?
Yes, poop and anus, these two words have all the power in the world to freak you out but you should know that poop isn’t waiting for you, sitting down there to spoil down your romantic and kinky rendezvous with your partner and even if it does (rarest of the rare case scenario), it can be taken care of with water and soap.
Question: What should I be careful about before anal sex?
Since a woman will be at the receiving end in this, you need to communicate at lengths with your partner. Ask him to stop when you say so and don’t force his way inside. Just to let you know that like you, it can be not as pleasurable for men too as it is made out to be. Like women, men also have varying degrees of pleasure with different women in this department.
Always use a condom. As in vaginal sex, you are at risk of transmitting STDs and hence, it is recommended that you ask your partner to use condom. Understand that condom is not just to prevent child birth; it is an amazing invention to help you have pleasure without worrying about the risks.
No matter what, he shouldn’t enter your vagina after anal sex. Not at all. There is a reason that why women are always told to wipe themselves from front to back. Anus has bacteria that can totally mess up with your vagina and you could even end up taking lots of antibiotics, antifungal medicine to treat infection.
Even though the penis will enter the shallow part of the anus, there is one in the million chances that a little fecal material will come out and now, you can see why condom is more important to use. Also, you wouldn’t like to clean your men’s mess that is bound to come out of your anus after he is done.
Always have a feminine hygiene wash handy if you are planning to extend the pleasure to the vagina or better, just leave it there for extra safety and to ensure hygiene.
Question: So, okay. I am finally convinced but how to do anal sex?
The first step is to do preparation for anal sex. You will need lube. A lot of it. Since anus doesn’t have a self lubricating system in place like the vagina, you might need to lubricate before your partner try to get inside. Apply lube on both of you. Without lube it can cause tears in the internal lining of anus, which happens to the vagina as well if you are not wet enough. So, lube is the keyword here.
Breathe. In. Out.
No rapid fire rounds! Anal sex, like the traditional sex should be accompanied by foreplay. Don’t go by anything that you have seen in the porn or on the Internet doing rounds in the name of anal sex videos. Prep for it. Enter slowly. There is a reason it is called salad tossing. When you toss someone’s salad, you ought to do it easy and slowly as well as should be careful about it.
You can also consider using another set of sheets or towels underneath to prevent the lube and fluids spreading all over.
Don’t do it on empty stomach and also, don’t just eat loads of food either. If you are worried about fecal matter showing on his penis, you can try taking an enema or anal douche. But again, as we have said earlier, it is not a practical solution if you are planning to make anal sex a regular thing.
If you could, empty your bowels.
Question: What positions for anal sex should I try?
Porn sites will have you believe that only doggy style is the way to have it. But you can try different positions when you are a pro at it. At first, go with whatever seems feasible and well, reachable. After that, once both of you are comfortable, you can go for missionary, cow girl, happy scissors, butterfly or face-to-face anal sex positions. But yes, it totally depends on you.
Question: Is anal guarantee of an orgasm alone? Always?
If you are expecting back arching, groping and nail biting orgasm from anal sex all the time, then no, it isn’t possible. Orgasm depends on so many things, mainly on a woman’s body. Some women find nipple arousal a lot easier way to squirting orgasm whereas for most of them, it is difficult to orgasm without the stimulation of clitoris.
Vagina and anus’ walls have nerve endings, which when stimulated can give you immense pleasure leading on to an orgasm. You can ask your partner to keep stimulating the clit or you can also consider using sex toys to excite the vaginal walls during anal sex.
Any ways, the way of orgasm differs from one woman to another. Find what makes your woman tick and lead her to a screaming orgasm.
Question: What to expect during anal sex?
Head of the penis is the thickest part and once it is through; you are up for pleasure that is beyond words.
Question: What after that?
Well, let your partner take the penis out slowly. And don’t panic if your anus doesn’t return to its original shape immediately as it might take some time to go back to its buttonhole shape. Use wipes to clean yourself and after that rush to the bathroom to clean yourself thoroughly.
Just to let you know taking the dump after first anal sex may feel like a parallel world experience. This is called lube poops. You would sense it coming directly from the anus and if you have used lots of lube, then it might feel like even more slippery of an experience. Yes, farts too.
Don’t get all worked up if you spot little blood on poop because the ligaments tear down a bit in the process. If the pain and blood still persist, consult your doctor immediately.
Question: When should I not try anal sex?
Thumb rule: When you aren’t ready and can’t gather your thoughts around the idea of somebody entering you from the backdoor.
Other than this, when you have an irregular bowel moments and messy stomach from some time.
Question: Off topic, but can I try it on me first? You know what I mean?
Yes, we do and of course! Since it is your body and you have an idea of what works with you and what doesn’t, you can try with fingers or sex toys that are especially meant for anal sex. Lube is the key here as well.